It was a dark period of his life before a buyer emerged for his restaurant venue. “Stress and anxiety cost me my first marriage,” he says. “I was in a dark place and through that process I learnt the power of connection and opening up. There is no weakness in being vulnerable.” Rabah believes there is always a “way out” and a solution. He says a lot of people “hang on for sheer embarrassment” when they hit financial trouble.
Five years ago when the pandemic struck, he once again watched businesses struggle that was reminiscent of the GFC. This lesson – that vulnerability is not weakness – laid the foundations for the Male Hug, an initiative Rabah set up in 2019 to create a safe space for accountants to open up and share their struggles.
“As men, we struggle with the idea that we need to be leaders to be successful,” Rahah says. “We’re taught not to show weakness or vulnerability, to have a stiff upper lip.”
But he had “had enough of seeing too many men falling through cracks pretending things are good when they are not”. As a member of the Institute of Public Accountants (IPA), part of the IPA Group which includes the Institute of Financial Accountants, Rabah leaned on his IPA global network to put together a board, volunteers and a buddy programme to take calls from men who need help. With support from Andrew Conway, Group CEO of the IPA Group, the Male Hug quickly evolved into a lifeline for men across many professions.
Ambassador and buddy programme support men’s mental health
The Male Hug holds high profile events to raise awareness about men’s mental health
The timing couldn’t have been more critical. According to the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare, men are three times more likely to die from suicide than women in Australia. In the UK, the Office for National Statistics reported a similar trend, finding the gap had increased over time.
The Male Hug pioneered a 24/7 buddy programme helpline staffed by carefully selected and trained volunteers, which receives about 15 calls a week.. “Our buddy programme receives calls from men who need a safe space to talk,” Rabah says. “We offer guys an opportunity to connect with someone who understands.”
They approached high profile ambassadors to spread the word and corporate partners came on board to support awareness-raising events. Having run a boutique accounting practice for 25 years, Rabah understood that members “go above and beyond to please the client and you do so at your own detriment”. “A lot of accountants fear losing clients and do whatever they need and want,” he says. “But they don’t realise their own mental health suffering.”
Rabah recounts a serendipitous meeting with a 23 year-old man who was contemplating suicide after losing his job in a tax office call centre. “We connected him with our expert buddies, got him dinner, and helped him find part-time work,” he says.
“He later told us, ‘If our paths didn’t cross, I’d be dead tomorrow.'”
While the Male Hug has expanded its reach, its roots in the accounting profession remain strong. Recent changes in the industry have added to these stressors. “Now with new reporting obligations and whistleblowing rules dubbing tax agents, there’s another layer of pressure,” Rabah says. “A lot of accountants still aren’t talking about it.”
TalkTober are among events to encourage men to speak up
To address this, the Male Hug collaborates with the IPA on various initiatives, including monthly discussion groups and awareness campaigns. The organisation’s annual “TalkTober” event in October has become a headline of their outreach efforts.
The COVID-19 pandemic brought these issues into sharper focus. “During the peak of COVID, people were desperate to get JobKeeper money, and the pressure came on tax agents,” Rabah says. “Clients aren’t just transactional – we have relationships with them. They share things beyond financial affairs, and eventually, it takes its toll.”
The Male Hug’s impact extends beyond its original scope, with lawyers, surgeons, and C-level executives reaching out for support. “At our last fundraising event, we had 350 people attend, including 100 different insolvency practitioners. It shows the size of the problem is massive,” Rabah says.
The organisation’s growth has been organic, relying on donations, corporate partnerships, and events rather than government funding. This grassroots approach allows the Male Hug to maintain its focus on direct support and awareness-raising.
Looking to the future, Rabah sees both challenges and opportunities. The organisation plans to double its number of trained buddies and continue expanding its reach into international markets to share resources and strategies.
“Talking is too important – it’s like releasing the pressure valve on a pressure cooker.”
